Human is indeed a social animal, and all of us continuously keep getting to know or letting go of people in our lifespan. Not everyone clicks with us. And more importantly, we do not hit it off with everyone. The two of these situations often have a neat line separating them from each other, and it is not uncommon for people to fail at figuring out the hints that you might not be feeling comfortable by their approaches or interactions. Similarly, people try to make advances on the people they find interesting in functions or occasions, without realizing that they might be getting unnecessarily clingy or making the particular person feel uncomfortable by their glances or overtures. There are numerous ways to avoid getting into such a tense situation, even if it requires you to be a slightly softer version of ourselves.
1. Ignore or look uninterested to those who approach
Curiosity kills the cat. It also makes you vulnerable to the attention you so dearly want to avoid running into. Enjoy the event as much as you can, but make sure you ignore the crowd of strangers around you as even the slightest hint of interest from your side and can drive someone’s attention to you. Relax, have a good time, and talk to everyone you know. But do not lose yourself due to the easy mood. Do not pay any mind to anybody unknown who tries and approach you. These few pointers will certainly help you have a hassle-free time.
2. Avoid eye contact
Avoiding the chance of looking anyone in their eyes while passing or looking around ensures that no attention is directed your way. Also, if the damage is done even after all the precautions you took to avoid the evitable you caught some attention, not all hopes are lost. The control on the impairment can be made by avoiding eye contact with the person. Eyes are rightly called the windows to the soul and once an eye contact is made there is no escaping from an interaction.
3. Hang in groups
It is human nature to approach and interact with the individuals who are not busy talking to others or elsewhere. Stability is not questioned, and if it is approached at all not much difference can be made. This theory is the reason why sticking in groups of people can prove to be much more helpful than any other method as it keeps attention from falling on you. The chances of your coming into unnecessary notice reduce stupendously and a group is rarely approached by stags.
4. Don’t talk to everyone, but don’t isolate yourself
As already pointed out, it is important to confine yourself from interacting with everyone. Though it is strongly advised to stay as strict as possible, it is also pointed out that restriction is not equivalent to isolation. Separating oneself from the very act of communicating in a social event highlights a lack of confidence which pulls attention on you. It is assumed that you must be in a low mood or uncertain of approaching others, and in this manner people might begin to approach you themselves so as to help you have a better time. To avoid such a circumstance, do not keep yourself absolutely cut off from the crowd around you, and interact with your known acquaintances.
5. Keep changing your position
A major giveaway when one is attempting to stay low profile can be an idea that people often mistakenly think of as an assistive trick – picking out a supposedly discreet corner in the gathering and adhere to it like glue. They believe that the lesser they get displaced, the easier it would be to stay hidden from most of the eyes. However, it actually helps in making them more noticeable as it makes them seem oddly interesting, thus defeating the purpose. Keep moving instead of sticking to a corner. Not moving unlike the rest actually makes us easy targets, and often people tend to approach merely because they take a note of our stillness.
6. Do what they expect
People who approach a person themselves in social gatherings usually have the same reason to do so if not randomly – they notice something unique or surprising. When their probing eyes fall on someone looking or behaving in an unexpected manner they feel the need to approach and explore. This makes it essential for people to look as common as possible in the gathering they are present at to fool the crowd. Blend in with the crowd, attire wise and action wise as well. Doing what everyone else does and keeping your profile as low as possible is very necessary.
7. Act confidently
The act of keeping conscious of your actions in an event is simple in theory, yet can clog your mind up in implementation. You might start feeling uneasy and not be able to socialize genuinely. However, there is no need to feel out of place. It has to be remembered here that confidence is the key to pulling the tricks off. One cannot look like they are trying at all to dodge the unwanted attention, and blending in would aid in circumventing it. If one starts trying too hard, he becomes a probable target of what is needed to be avoided.
8. Hang with the ones you know
Since people you are not acquainted to are going to present in the gathering, it is safer to speak only to those you are familiarized with. Socializing with random people goes strictly against the attempts of avoiding attention and instead might aid in making you the center of attention. Interaction should be limited as much as possible to those who you are comfortably familiar with, and only for the duration in which they do not get a chance to introduce you to company unknown to you.
9. Don’t be loud
Any social event requires conversations and interactions, and one begins to socialize and getting at ease easily. However, making your presence obvious by talking or behaving loudly is not a spectacular thought. You do not have to bore yourself by staying as hush as possible, but keeping a note of your volume is suggested even when you are talking to your acquaintances. Similarly, every natural action like slipping or spilling a liquid comes into notice of all sorts of people. One does not have to become over-conscious so as keep noticing his activities and appeal on the crowd. Getting drunk is STRICTLY not advisable.
10. Make the outfit blend in
Every social event requires a certain appeal in one’s outfit that must come into picture only once in a while. It is now in fact a culture to look as exquisite as possible for any gathering. However, an outfit does not necessarily have to be an attention grabber in order to make you look stunning. Once you know where you are going to be, and the kind of crowd that is going to be present at the event, it is better to choose outfits that compliment you as well as do not call for excessive attention from random people. As long as you do not carry off anything that catches eyes unnecessarily, you are safe from unknown advancers.
Time To Get Out Of Dodge? – Relocate Ahead Of The Collapse
by: Mick Winter
Peak Oil? Economic Collapse? Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something. Maybe it’s Relocation, Relocation, Relocation.
With many people predicting a serious economic depression, and others equally–or also–concerned about the approaching depletion of oil production (“Peak Oil” – For full information, see Dry Dipstick at www.drydipstick.com), you might consider moving to a quieter, more sustainable, less oil-dependent location.
Of course you might be fine living exactly where you are now. It’s certainly easier to stay where you are than to move. No one can predict, certainly not with certainty, where the best places might be to deal with the future. Many observers think that large cities are definitely not the best location. Others suggest that any town dependent on water and food that comes from a large distance may not be ideal. They suggest a small town with adequate water and nearby farms. When it comes down to it, no one really has the foggiest idea, so you’re on your own.
If you wish, you can run off into the hills, create a mountain fortress, and be a dyed-in-the-wool, nobody-come-near-me loner. Others believe that if a true survivalist is someone who wants to survive, the best way to do that in the 21st century is in a community. (If you’re really into survivalism, we suggest you check out www.survivalist.com.)
The choice is yours. If you still have the time, we can suggest resources for finding a place to live both in the United States and in countries around the world.
Inside the United States
If you currently live in the United States, you might want to consider simply moving to another state rather than going abroad. Things generally get much cheaper when you move away from the coasts, and the quality of life can be very good. Plus, they speak English there (more or less) and you can usually get all the stuff you’re probably used to. (Assuming stuff is still available.)
There are a number of excellent web sites to help you in your search for a place to move to. Moving.com‘s (www.moving.com) city profiles provide information on hundreds of cities. The profiles include cost of living, taxes, home costs, insurance costs and quality of life factors such as population, crime, weather and education.
Moving.com can also help you find real estate and arrange for moving logistics. You can even compare the profiles of two cities of your choice.
BestPlaces (www.bestplaces.net) lets you compare two cities from a list of over 3,000 places in the U.S. You’ll see a comparison of nearly 100 categories. BestPlaces offers neighborhood profiles for every zip code in the U.S., in-depth profiles on over 85,000 schools, a cost of living calculator that compares cities and determines what salary you’d need at a new location to maintain the same standard of living as you have now. Plus you’ll find crime rates for over 2,500 U.S. cities, most and least stressful cities, and climate profiles for 2,000 cities worldwide.
You can even take a “Find Your Best Place” quiz to determine your own recommended best places to live. BestPlaces also publishes the book “Cities Ranked and Rated”, with detailed information on over 400 metropolitan areas in the U.S. and Canada. You might also find the Most Livable Communities website helpful (www.mostlivable.org/).
Our favorite resource is FindYourSpot (www.findyourspot.com). It offers a fun quiz (it’ll take you less than 10 minutes) with great questions, and it produces a list of two dozen cities that fit your quiz answers. Results for each city include an attractive downloadable four-page report with an insightful overview of the character of the area and information on climate, arts and culture, recreation, education, housing and cost of living, crime and safety, health care, and earning a living. You’ll also find links to currently available jobs and housing, roommate services, recommended city-specific books, and travel deals if you’d like to personally visit the city.
Outside the U.S.
Wondering where the best country is to move to? We suggest that there is actually more than one “best country” for you. You find them by:
1) visiting every possible country and seeing which ones you like best, or
2) researching every possible country, zeroing in on those you feel most attracted to, and then visiting those countries. We suggest that the best way to begin is to use the Web, particularly the sites we list below.
Bottom line? Visit a country and spend some time there before making the actual move. Most experienced expatriates suggest living at least six months in your host country before permanently moving there. And remember, you’re not going to live in an entire country, just in one specific place in a country. You don’t have to love the entire country to be able to find that one special place just for you. You’re looking for a region, a city, a town, even a neighborhood where you can find the qualities you want in a new home.
Here are some websites that should help in your quest for a new country.
Boomers Abroad (http://ift.tt/1fQ66vS)
A website devoted to giving you the best and most comprehensive information available on the Web about beautiful (and affordable) warm coastal countries, how to get there and how to live there. Whether you’re looking to be a retiree, a working expatriate, or simply a visitor, Boomers Abroad is your place on the Web for Costa Rica, Cuba, Mexico, Nicaragua, Panama, and Uruguay.
Expat Communities (http://ift.tt/1fQ66vW)
A directory of more than 110 countries with sizeable English-speaking (and usually international as well) expatriate communities. English-language websites, organizations, online forums, meetups, local newspapers, and books of interest to current and potential expatriates. These websites will give you, or link you to, all the information you’ll need to decide if a particular country might suit your needs and deserves future exploration.
Expat Stuff (www.expatstuff.com)
Wherever you end up living as an expat, you’ll need stuff. And information. And services. This website is an excellent directory with a focus on the endless variety of information, services and tools you’ll need to enjoy life and create your own income while living abroad. You’ll also find information on such things as communication, health insurance, obtaining a passport, links to country information, and general expatriate blogs and websites.
About The Author
Mick Winter is the founder of Beyond Peak (www.beyondpeak.com) – A guide to self-sufficiency and living sustainably with Peak Oil and economic collapse.
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