A F–king Nightmare Come True!
By Martin Alvin
Call it sour grapes if you will; I don’t care — because sour grapes or not — I hope it snows like hell on February 2, 2014, at Met Life Stadium. And I hope the wind howls through the joint creating a whiteout, blizzard and a Super Bowl XLVIII nightmare for the NFL. And I hope they never schedule another Super Bowl there again. There! I said it and I’m glad. Okay, so, I’m not a good sport — so what!
Frankly this is exactly what I’ve been dreading ever since the NFL announced Super Bowl XLVIII would be played in Met Life Stadium. Of course, I hoped it would be the Giants playing host — and home team — that day, but I feared it wouldn’t happen; and sure enough, the Giants have thrown together a season to forget before it’s finally, mercifully, over. A 5-11 record is still a worst-case scenario, but so is an 8-8 scenario. But more likely, it will be either 6-10 or 7-9.
But I’m not beefing about the fact that the Giants won’t be the first team in NFL history to host a Super Bowl as the home team. Hell, no! That hasn’t happened even once in the last forty-seven years. As a matter of fact, the closest it’s ever come to happening was way back in 1984 when the San Francisco 49ers blew out the Miami Dolphins in SB XIX by a score of 38-16 — at Stanford Stadium in Palo Alto California, a mere thirty-five miles or so from San Francisco itself –- but it wasn’t at Candlestick Park, so it wasn’t exactly a 49er home game.
And in the entire history of the Super Bowl –- from 1966 to the present, counting SB XLVIII -– only twelve teams have even had a winning record the year that their stadium was the Super Bowl site. Thirty-six other teams, including the 2013 Giants, with a chance to host the Super Bowl –- and play in it — have had losing records that same Super Bowl season. So, maybe there really has been something all along called: The Super Bowl Hosting Curse.
Of course, for teams like the Giants, Cowboys, Colts, Vikings and Jaguars, that’s not exactly a criminal indictment, because those teams have had only one opportunity respectively in the last forty-seven years to host a Super Bowl. But teams like the Dolphins have actually hosted the Super Bowl ten times without playing in it. New Orleans has hosted the Super Bowl nine times without playing in it. Tampa Bay has hosted the Super Bowl four times without playing in it. There were also four Super Bowls played in Pasadena, which has no home team. San Diego had three shots at it and the old L.A. Rams had two shots, as did the Falcons, Lions and Arizona Cardinals. Houston has also hosted two Super Bowls, but years apart, first when the Oilers were the home team, and then when the home team was the Texans.
So, the fact that Giants crapped out this year –- and I use the word crap with purpose because they really did play like crap -– it’s not my major fear finally coming to fruition. That distress comes from knowing that both the –- UGGHH — Dallas Cowboys and the –- UCCHH -– NY Jets are still technically alive in the SB XLVIII hunt. And as ridiculous as it sounds the -– UCCHH –- NY Jets could still be the first team to host a Super Bowl, and play in it, using their very own dressing room, while the visiting –- UGGHH -– Dallas Cowboys use the Giants’ dressing room. Please excuse me while barf.
Not possible you say? Probably not –- hopefully not — but stranger things have happened. Remember, the Giants were 7-7 in 2011 and no one gave them a chance in hell; and then, they went on a six game tear through the rest of the regular season, then the playoffs, and finally a dramatic 21-17 victory in Super Bowl XLVI. It’s hard to believe that was only two dreadful seasons ago, isn’t it?
So, as distasteful as it is to contemplate — and God help me, it’s so distasteful I’m about to choke on the mere thought — it’s still technically possible for the — UGGHH — Cowboys to go 10-6 and win the NFC East. And it’s still technically possible for the — UCCHH — Jets to go 9-7 and squeeze into the playoffs as a Wild Card. And so, as crazy as it sounds –- and yes, it does sound crazy, but that’s what fear coming to fruition does to a person; it makes them crazy — it’s possible that both the UCCHH team and the UGGHH team could squeak through the playoffs and then, play in, and of course, one would have to win, Super Bowl XLVIII. And in — of all places — Big Blues’ own home stadium! Now, good grief; if that’s not a f–king nightmare come true, I don’t know what is!
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